Hello 2018!!! Happy New Year, y’all!!
We rang in the new year with Mama and my son, Luke. It was wonderful having him here.
It’s funny. Every time we part company after seeing one another, it’s hard to describe how it feels, but there is this intense wound that I forget is there until I see him then have to part company. I wonder if that will ever subside… This morning after seeing him off then experiencing it again, I told myself, ‘It’s just a wound, and wounds heal, eventually, or at the very least they scar up so that life can resume beyond the injury – or perhaps in spite of it.’ All I can do is recognize it for what it is and pray it becomes scar tissue or something resembling bearable soon because this is unreasonable pain that makes no sense! I mean, he’s back in my life, for peet’s sake! Stop it!!
So a whole year went by without facebook. There was that one time I wrote about about a month or so into this journey to tie up a couple of loose ends then another time later in the year to check on one particular friend who was not returning my calls to make sure she was alive and doing alright. Other than that and on the rare occasion updating the band’s facebook page, I’ve been doing life without the social network drama. I recommend it!
A lot of last year brought with it what seemed like a whale of a lot of troublesome times. It also feels like there has been a tremendous amount of growth coming out the other side of it all. There is much yet to traverse growth-wise, but that sense of dread that has been a persistent thorn in my side for most of my adult life feels as if it’s giving way to hope and something that could actually be acceptance. If it feels like acceptance, regardless of how fragile, then surely it must be. It’s new territory, and it still feels a little strange, but I think it’s going to be very agreeable if it really takes hold.
Something to look forward to. We can’t have enough of that these days, can we?
May the coming year bring good, and bright, and beautiful things for us all!