Day 3

I spent a good part of the day yesterday thinking of where to spend my time and thought about the things that are pressing on me the hardest and have need of the most of my attention.  There’s Mama.  The Lewy Body Dementia that she was diagnosed with over a year ago has started to progress to the point where the lapse in memory is noticeable pretty much every time I converse with her.  The good news is, she is still lucid, still sharp as a tack, and still very much aware of what’s going on around her…and she loathes the independent living facility where she currently resides.  We have been at a loss to know what to do about that.  She’s tried living with us – twice – and that doesn’t work for her.  She likes having her own space.  At this stage, any kind of care facility is going to annoy her as much if not more than where she is now, so we’re looking into other possibilities.  I may be a little closer to hatching a plan, but it definitely hinges on more than myself to make it work.  This is a village kind of thing, and it’s going to take that village to get and keep it going.  The biggest question now is, does that village still exist?

I’m in a band with Steve and his brother, and I love the stuff they have written together.  I kind of got roped into playing keyboards with them a little over 3 years ago, which was a total surprise.  I had no aspirations whatsoever of playing keyboards in a band.  As a matter of fact, I’d never even played anything but an acoustic piano, nothing electronic.  The few times I did put my fingers to the keys of an electric keyboard it was not impressive.  In fact, it felt something like a limp handshake.  It’s all about the product, and I’d just never been able to get my hands on the right ones.  Thank goodness, Tim, my brother-in-law, purchased a favorably responsive and great sounding keyboard right out of the gate.  Not long after that, Steve and I were thrift shopping and found a sweet 88 key controller that he and Steve were able to repair, and that’s what I’ve been playing ever since.

It’s their thing, and I love it, I respect it, I’m part of it, but but this is the kind of music that really and truly turns me on, and it’s what I always seem to come back to:

Sang’n with Hank – Lovesick Blues

I’d like to start a side project of something like a Carter Sisters and/or Carter Family reboot.  The thing that I’m most drawn to is honest music that only exists for its own sake, the kind of music that must exist because it cannot help itself.  It’s not produced to impress anybody with its “relevance” to the current trend, it’s not there merely to sell tons of records (although, historically, since there has been a music industry, good honest music has proven that it definitely will sell), and it’s not anything like what’s largely become the music industry standard across the limited array of predominant genres.  With some exceptions, of course, that’s what’s missing from the music that is making it on the charts and on the radio and video these days is honesty.  It’s nobody’s fault.  It’s just part of the fallout of tech being inserted into every aspect of everyday interaction.  The web has presented unbounded opportunities to present oneself as anything one wants to put out there.  Any persona a person could ever dream up, all the tools are right there at that person’s fingertips to make it appear to any targeted audience.  It can be done to some degree in face-to-face exchanges too, but that can only go so far for so long.  And the saddest thing to me is there is now a whole generation of people who grew up with all this technology that allows for any and every kind of facade, and I fear that it’s getting so that what’s real is getting harder to recognize.  It’s either so obscured by all the noise that it doesn’t register, or worse: honesty has become unrecognizable because the references are not what’s being presented en masse.  My most desperate hope is that something akin to a sixties hippie revolution will cry out against this sterility and playacting and reject it outright as the societal norm.

I can’t remember when I last had the freedom of following the sound of my own thoughts as opposed to being bombarded with all of the chatter of all this stuff that’s infiltrated almost every aspect of modern life.  It’s been nice becoming reacquainted with my own thought processes…I’ve missed that person, the person who could think for herself, rejecting the pressure to walk on friggin eggshells with everything I think, do, and say.  To that I say: F&^# THAT NOISE!!

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